Something I’ve been stewing on the last few weeks and thought appropriate for a week where we’re meant to be reflecting on all that we have.
There are certain experiences I think it’s valuable for everyone to experience. Are they all good experiences? No. Intentionally. Because then we have a taste of what others are going through. I’m not wishing prolonged experiences of the worst of the human experience on anyone; I hope everyone can find their worst experiences shortened or made better by others, but I think that others understanding a taste of those worst experiences can increase our ability to best help those around us.
I think everyone should experience being alone. Both alone when they want it, in a quiet place and alone when they need someone else.
Everyone should at some point know how it feels to be unsure financially. Not destitute, not homeless, but when you look forward and realize you’re not entirely sure what’s coming next.
Everyone should need help and not be sure who to turn to. The feeling of being alone and helpless and not know how to get out.
But everyone should also know how it feels to need help and receive it. Asked or unasked, everyone should be able to experience the feeling of being borne up by community when you can’t do it yourself.
Everyone should be somewhere where they’re the cultural outsider. Lots of people feel this all the time; those who are the majority should be able to feel what it’s like to not understand what’s going on around them. To know how strange it feels. And also what it’s like to be embraced by the culture they’re in, differences acknowledged and accepted.
Everyone could do with the experience of working a customer service job. Waiting, checking out, stocking shelves; the sort of jobs that are often taken for granted. If more people knew what those jobs felt like, I’m sure those jobs would become easier.
Everyone should have the chance to be perfectly comfortable. To have one of those magical moments where you’re perfectly at rest. Whether you find that in a laughing party or in a cozy chair, in a crowd at a concert or similar or performing, everyone should have the chance to know what makes them content.
As much as I hate this experience myself, everyone should know how it feels to be unfairly judged. To have your actions taken wrongly or to be looked down on for something beyond your control.
Because I think if people have the chance to experience these things, not just see them from the outside, they’ll be able to move towards a world with more empathy and work to make things better for everyone. To be clear, I don’t think these are necessary to the practice of empathy, but I think that experience deepens and enhances empathy.
I hope everyone has a restful and pleasant Thanksgiving. I’ve experienced much to be grateful for this year. May you as well.
Intellectual Property of Elizabeth Doman
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